


If On A Winter's Night

by mycry2468



Series: Futile Devices [3]
Category: Hannibal (TV) RPF, Hannibal Extended Universe - Fandom
Genre: AU Madancy, Drunk Hugh, Flirting, Friendship/Love, Frustration, Hugh Dancy/Mads Mikkelsen - Freeform, Late Night Conversations, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Madancy, Phone Call, Post-Rogue One, Press Tour, Secret Crush, Secret Relationship, Sexual Frustration, secret meeting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:20:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24075847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mycry2468/pseuds/mycry2468
Summary: This is the last part of the series "Futile Devices".
Relationships: Hugh Dancy & Mads Mikkelsen, Hugh Dancy/Mads Mikkelsen
Series: Futile Devices [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1620028
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I want to thank pisces714 for proofreading my whole work.

_**New York** _

Many times Hugh had thought about how his life would be without Mads. Before and after Mads. This is how he started to consider his life. He knew they were meant to be together. But not in this life. Not in this reality.

What they had was very special. They were both lucky to have each other. Hugh knew that he could count on Mads any time, even if they were apart. Time and distance were their enemies, but they got used to it.  
Hugh had started to fill the void he felt by watching Mads’ movies and interviews. Hugh wanted to keep himself up to date. Knowing what Mads was doing or what he had recently done made him feel closer to him. It made him feel involved in his life.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One night Hugh didn’t feel tired despite the hour. It was almost midnight. He opened his laptop and he started to watch videos on YouTube. He noticed a new video of Mads on his YouTube suggestions. It was a new interview with his colleague Ben Mendelsohn. Hugh was a bit ( _very!_ ) jealous of Ben since last time he talked about him with Mads was when he came to New York to film “Doctor Strange”. He decided to watch it anyway because he needed to know more about their relationship, so the best thing to do was to analyze them.

Hugh watched the whole interview and he wished he never did. In this interview Mads and Ben looked so comfortable around each other. They were touching constantly and they kept eye contact the whole time. They looked like ( _a couple?_ ).

Ben really seemed into Mads. And, surprise surprise, Mads seemed into Ben. The most painful thing for Hugh to hear was the part where Ben mentioned the couch. Apparently, one night they were both drunk and something happened on that couch. But what?

It seemed Mads didn’t remember it. Was it true? Was he lying in front of the camera? Ben seemed almost sad that Mads said he didn’t remember. Like something important happened and Mads was denying it. Was it supposed to be a secret? What kind of secret though?

Hugh put his hands on his face and he breathed heavily.

“Fuck Mads, what did you do?” he said it aloud.

Hugh closed his eyes and tried to calm down. His heart started to beat faster.

Last time they saw each other, Mads told him that Ben was just a good friend. Did he lie about Ben? About what happened between them? Was he so drunk he couldn’t remember? Did he talk to Ben? Did Ben talk to him?

Hugh’s mind was on fire. Too many questions, too many doubts. Hugh wasn’t prepared for that. He kept seeing Ben looking at Mads with heart eyes during the whole interview. He knew that gaze. He knew Ben liked Mads a lot. It was undeniable. Mads seemed so pleased and he flirted with him the whole interview. But what happened on that damn couch? It couldn’t be something innocent, because otherwise Ben would have said it anyway.

Panicked, Hugh started to search for pictures of them together. He found a few online and he felt even more upset. They looked like a couple in every picture. Fuck.

Hugh closed his laptop and went to the kitchen. He needed a drink. A strong one. Whisky? Good idea.

He took a glass and poured the whiskey into the glass. Then another. Then another. Then another. Then another.

It wasn’t Hugh’s plan to get drunk that night, but Mads had plunged him into despair. He really hurt his feelings. He lied to him about Ben, and he hadn’t even call him lately. He had no idea if he would be able to bear the idea that Ben had taken his place. But what did it mean by 'taken his place'? He had no idea. Lately, he didn’t know much anymore. If he could rewind the tape of his life, he would make things different. He would keep his distance from Mads and treat him only as a friend, as to avoid all these complications.

Would he really have done that?

Hugh looked at the content of the glass as if he was mesmerized.

No. Of course not. If he could rewind the tape, he would probably do the same things again. After all, it was since King Arthur was filmed that there was a spark between them. Neither of them were prepared for this, but the truth was that from the moment they first met, something was born. Love at first sight or not, Hugh blushed visibly as soon as Mads looked him in the eye and spoke to him. Although years had passed, Hugh remembered perfectly that moment. It was now engraved in his mind or, as Hannibal would have said, in his memory palace. They too, like Hannibal and Will, shared many rooms. Hugh would have wanted to find Mads in one of those.

Distraught and now drunk, Hugh sank on the couch and looked at his phone. What if he called Mads? He had to call Mads. Maybe he was busy and wouldn’t answer. Who cares. He would call him anyway until he answered. He owed him. He wanted to know the truth and Mads would give it to him.

Hugh picked up his phone and looked for Mads' contact in his address book. As soon as he found him, he sent through the call and stood by. A ring. Two rings. Three rings. Four rings. Five…

“Hugh!”

"Mads.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Hugh!”

“Mads.”

“How are you?” Mads asked softly.

“Never been better.” Hugh’s answer was brief.

Mads hesitated. Did he sense that something was wrong?

“I’m so glad to hear that.” Mads said in a sweet tone “I miss you”.

“Do you miss me? Really?” Hugh asked with suspicion.

“Y-yeah. Of course. Why this tone? Is something wrong?”

“Something wrong? No. Nothing.” Hugh said with a peaceful voice. “You know what is wrong, Mads? YOU. You are fucking wrong. You fucking liar!” he added with anger.

Silence.

“Hugh, are you drunk? What happened? Please, talk to me!” Mads’ voice was calm, but tense.

“Oh, now you want me to talk to you? What about last month? What about last week? You’re pathetic!” Hugh said. “And I’m the most stupid person in this world. Fuck.” He added.

“You’re not stupid, Hugh. Why are you so mad at me? What happened?” Mads was cautious. He didn’t know why Hugh was so mad at him.

Silence.

“How is your boyfriend?” Hugh asked with a bitter and accusatory tone.

“My…what?”

Hugh smiled. He was trying to provoke Mads.

“Your boyfriend. Oh, sorry. One of your boyfriends. I forgot you have so many boyfriends out there. Married men are your specialty. They all fall for you.”

“Hugh, this is insane. You’re drunk. We should talk tomorrow. What do you say?”

Hugh laughed. He was sure Mads was hiding something. Was he trying to end the conversation in order to save his ass? He wouldn’t give up that easily.

“What do I say? Mmh, let me think. I say no. Tell me, Mads, what number am I now for you? Number 2? Number 4? Number 10? Because clearly I’m not number 1 since your precious and super fucking hot boyfriend Ben is number 1.”

“Hugh. This is not the right moment to talk about this, whatever it is. I can’t talk about this right now. But please, whatever you’re thinking, it’s not like this, ok?”

“Oh, now you can’t talk about this. Sorry, next time I’ll call your manager to make an appointment.”

“Please Hugh, don’t…” Mads begged.

“ENOUGH!” Hugh yelled. “I’ve had enough of your bullshit. I don’t want you to talk to me anymore. I don’t want to hear your fucking voice anymore. You were my..” Hugh hesitated. “My greatest friend. Now I want you out of my life. I wish you a happy life and have fun with your new hot boyfriend Ben. Goodbye.”

Hugh hung up and dropped the phone on the couch. He started to cry. His tears were burning as if they were poison. He couldn’t believe what had just happened. Did he really end his friendship with Mads? He did. He did for good. Some people were not meant to be together. It had taken him many years to realize it. He was supposed to feel relieved after this. Now he was free. Free from pain, free from disappointment. Also, free from ( _love?_ ).

But Hugh didn’t feel relieved. He felt a weight in his chest, as if his heart turned into a stone. He was having difficulty breathing.  
He ran to the bathroom, lifted the toilet seat and threw up everything in his stomach. After he emptied himself, he let himself fall on the soft carpet. It smelled like detergent.

Hugh put his hands on his face and burst into tears and sobbed again. His heart was beating fast. His head was throbbing: a very bad headache was coming. Hugh couldn’t remember the last time he had felt this bad.

If only he could rewind the tape of his life.


	3. Chapter 3

The day after, Hugh woke up with a hangover and a terrible headache. He had a meeting with the producer and the cast of The Path, but not until afternoon. 

He had breakfast and he took an aspirin for the headache. It seemed like a regular day, like the day before or two days ago. But it wasn’t. It was the first day without Mads in his life. Mads was no longer his friend, just a colleague from now on. Hugh could barely stand the idea. If they had to work together in the future, how would they keep their hands off each other? How could he hold his gaze without feeling lost?  
Hugh wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do, but he knew it was necessary. He had to sacrifice something to preserve his integrity and his life. With Mads out of his life everything would be easier. Also, he was too old to let anyone break his heart. And Mads was totally a heartbreaker. 

He would jealously guard the memories of the two of them together, the time they spent together, for the rest of his life. He was very lucky, because he never thought that at his age he would feel what he had felt with Mads. But like how all good things come to an end, so did what they had. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the afternoon Hugh went to the meeting. He sat down next to Aaron and he paid attention to what the producer was about to say. He tried to act like always, until his phone started to ring. A private number was calling. Who was it? 

The phone was on vibrate mode, but everyone who was with him at the table heard the buzz.

Hugh ignored the phone call. When the phone stopped vibrating, Hugh felt relieved. 

About five seconds later, the phone started vibrating again. Everyone could hear the noise and they looked at Hugh. 

Hugh felt terribly embarrassed and sorry.

“I’m very sorry. I forgot to silence the phone.” He said.

His phone kept vibrating. Who the hell was it? 

“It seems they are very insistent. Don’t you want to pick it up? Maybe it’s important.” Michelle suggested. 

Hugh looked at the screen. 

“No…I’ll hang up the phone.”

He looked at the screen once again. Something was telling him not to. Maybe it was important. 

“Sorry..I…I have to answer this. Please, give me a second.” He said getting up from his chair. 

“Don’t worry, take your time.” The producer said.

Hugh looked at Aaron and he smiled back. Hugh blushed. He didn’t know if it was for Aaron or for the embarrassment. He felt so unprofessional to leave the meeting to answer the phone. 

When he closed the door behind him, he answered the phone. A very familiar voice spoke.

“Hugh, please don’t hang up. Please.”

Of course it was Mads. He messed up his life and now he was messing up his job. Best timing ever.

“What do you want Mads? I’ve already told you that I don’t want to talk to you anymore!” he said in a low voice.

“I know, but I thought…”

“What?” Hugh asked with a defiant tone. 

Mads hesitated. 

“Nothing. Just…give me one minute. One minute, that’s what I’m asking. One minute of your time.” Mads begged. 

Hugh looked at the door. He needed to go back to the meeting as soon as possible. He didn’t have time to talk to Mads. Also, to talk about what? 

But what was one minute of his time? After all, he owed him one minute. 

“Speak. And be fast. I don’t have all day.” He said with a very low voice.

“Am I interrupting something? Are you busy?”

“Yes. I am. I’m at a work meeting, so say what you have to say and let’s end this.” He said annoyed. 

“Ok, listen..I don’t know what you saw yesterday, but whatever it was, I can explain it to you. I respect your decision. I really do. But before you end our….thing….I want to explain it to you. I’m sure you want to know the truth, don’t you? We’ve always been honest with each other, let’s not ruin this habit of ours. Not like this. If you’re not satisfied or if you still want to end it, then we’ll end it without regret or anything.”

Nice speech, Hugh thought. What now? After all, he wanted answers. He wanted the truth. He always wanted it. He also wanted Mads, but it was forbidden. 

“So? How are you going to resolve this? Calling me on the phone and explaining it to me in…let’s see…” Hugh looked at his phone. “in the last 30 seconds?”

“No. Better. I want you to come to Los Angeles.”

Hugh opened his mouth but no sound came out. 

“Sorry what?”

“I’ll probably have 25 seconds left now, so I’ll be quick…”

Hugh interrupted him.

“Fuck the seconds, what the hell is this? What is this crazy idea of me coming to Los Angeles that you came up with? Are you kidding me?” 

“No, I’m not kidding. I wanted to surprise you. I’m in Los Angeles for the Rogue One premiere and I’m doing a lot of interviews. I wanted to come to New York, even for a day, to see you and to talk to you. But I can’t. I’m too busy and I don’t think I can fool my manager Ulrich. Please, Hugh. I need to see you. I’ll be in Los Angeles for a few days. You don’t have to give me an answer right now, just…just think about it, ok?” 

Hugh closed his eyes and sighed. 

“Please?” Mads asked again.

“Ok. Ok. I’ll think about it.” Hugh answered. 

“Thank you. I don’t want to take any more of your time so…we’ll keep in touch.” Mads’ voice sounded more relieved. 

“Ok. Bye.”

Hugh hung up and sighed again. He returned to the room and apologized again. He tried to focus on the job, but his mind was somewhere else. 

When the meeting ended, Hugh thanked everyone and went out of the room. Aaron followed him.

“Hugh, are you ok? You seem…distracted? Is everything all right?” Aaron asked. 

“Yes, I’m just a bit tired today. Don’t worry about me.” Hugh gave him an allusive smile. 

“Ok, then. I’m always here for you if you need to talk. See you soon.” Aaron said hugging him. 

Hugh leaned on him and sank his face in Aaron’s neck. He smelled so good. He smelt different from Mads. Aaron’s scent reminded him of a beautiful house in the mountains surrounded by pine trees. 

When they finished hugging, they looked each other in the eye and they smiled. 

“I have to go now. See you soon.” Hugh said before leaving. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once again, Hugh didn’t know what to do. What Mads suggested was a crazy idea and quite risky. But Hugh loved the risk. He didn’t know how Mads was planning to organize this secret trip, because if anyone saw them together in LA, they definitely would ask why the hell he was there with Mads. What would be the excuse for Hugh to materialize in LA? Work? Definitely not. He was working in New York, so there was no reason to be in LA in that moment. Vacation? Maybe. But all alone? Very unlikely. 

Hugh thought about other excuses, but nothing was good enough. He knew that if someone caught them, it would be a disaster. If he accepted, he would have to take responsibility. It was a big, big risk. 

His phone started to ring. This time he saw Mads’ name on his phone screen. He wasn’t ready for this. 

“Mads.” He decided to answer anyway. 

“Hugh. I’m glad you answered. Have you considered my offer?” Mads seemed quite anxious. 

“Well, I……”

Hugh started to talk, but it was clear that he didn’t know what to say. 

“Hugh, listen…I can get you here in total discretion. You don’t have to think about anything. The only thing you have to do is to say yes. Please..?”

Hugh sighed. He kept Mads waiting for a few seconds. Yes or no? Yes or no? 

“Please, Hugh…”

Fuck the risk. 

“Yes.” He finally said. He heard Mads breathe a sigh of relief. 

“Thank you, Hugh. Don’t worry. I got this. I’ll text you later with all the details.” Mads’ voice sounded happy. For a moment, Hugh felt invaded by the same joy. Mads’ happiness was contagious. Now the die was cast.


	4. Chapter 4

While a private car escorted him to his hotel not far from the airport, Hugh continued to wonder if it was all a mistake.  
Mads had arranged that once he arrived at the airport, Hugh would find a car ready waiting for him to take him to his destination in complete discretion.

That evening they would meet in a restaurant just a few steps from the hotel, away from prying eyes. All this was stirring up Hugh. Ever since he set foot in Los Angeles, he’s been terribly nervous and worried. Worried about being seen, worried that someone would find out about his secret meeting with Mads. Yes, it was a secret meeting. Nobody had to know. On the one hand, the idea of meeting secretly with Mads turned him on, but on the other, Hugh felt like a thief. Or a slimy rat hiding in the sewers. It was wrong and he knew it. But he needed to see Mads at all costs. Like Mads said, they had to talk.

Probably Mads was doing some interviews at the time, maybe with Ben. Just thinking about it, Hugh felt something burning inside. It was stupid to want to be the only one for Mads, and yet Hugh resented the fact that he had been put aside. What had broken out between them? What had driven Mads to give in? Perhaps between him and Ben there was much more understanding, much more attraction. Maybe Mads simply lost interest in him and reassessed their situation. Maybe the distance had led him to regret what they had shared. There could be a thousand explanations, a thousand motivations, and Hugh still didn’t know which one was the right one.

When Hugh arrived at his destination he thanked the driver and entered the hotel. The receptionist handed him the magnetic card and he went quickly towards the elevator looking around with suspicion. He was so paranoid that he feared that there were people or even photographers who would recognize him. The hotel was a very discreet place, but Hugh did not feel safe anyway.

Once he entered the elevator, he encountered a girl nearby who looked at him curiously. Hugh looked down and tried to relax. Maybe she was a Fannibal? Did she recognize him? Hugh tried to stay calm. Everything was going to be fine. People usually look at each other in elevators all the time. There was nothing to worry about.

“Excuse me?" the girl spoke.

Fuck. They had been discovered. She recognized him and would tell the world that she had met Hugh Dancy in a hotel in Los Angeles while Mads Mikkelsen was on press tour in those days. How would he justify his presence there? There was no reasonable justification for this.

They were done.

"Yes?" Hugh replied. His heart beat was like a drum and he felt all sweaty.

“What’s your floor?" the girl asked.

Hugh realized that his body was stretched like a violin string. He felt his mouth dry from so much anxiety that he had accumulated.

“Three. Sorry, I forgot to press the button.”

“No problem at all.” The girl replied.

As soon as he reached his room and locked himself in, Hugh breathed a sigh of relief.

“Damn, Mads!” He said it out loud.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After many hours of hellish waiting, his meeting with Mads was close. Hugh took a shower, applied fragrance and dressed well _(why bother so much?)._

He decided to go to the restaurant early in case he couldn’t find the way. He wasn’t really afraid to get lost, it was just a valid reason to go there early. He couldn’t stand being locked in that room anymore. Those walls were choking him and he needed to get some fresh air before he saw Mads.

He walked quickly and, when he arrived at the restaurant, he went in and looked around. It was a nice place, but discreet. At that time there were not many people. A waiter approached and asked him if he had a reservation. Hugh gave him the name that Mads had given him on the phone. The waiter took him to the most private area of the place and Hugh sat down simply asking for water.

He tried not to give weight to his delusions and tried to focus on what he would eat. Honestly, he was not even hungry. In fact, he almost felt a slight nausea at the idea of talking to Mads.

He went through the whole menu hoping that time would pass faster. When he got to the last page he looked at his watch. Mads was already supposed to be here, but he wasn’t. What kept him? Did an interview last longer than expected? Was there traffic? Or had Ben kept him after the interview? Maybe Mads had forgotten their meeting and he was having dinner with him instead. Could he be such a dick?

Several minutes later, Hugh built up some courage, looked up and saw him. Mads was right there, at the entrance.

Hugh began to feel his heart beating faster in his chest. He did not know how to behave in such a situation. He saw him approaching the table and his heart almost stopped. He was short of breath and his hands started to tremble. When Mads' eyes met his, for a moment Hugh stopped breathing.

Mads wore a pair of jeans and one of his usual winter sweaters. He had short hair and it reminded Hugh of when Mads had cut it during the third season to play Hannibal when he was in prison. He always liked his hair. The color was indefinable because it had a thousand shades and his hair was soft as silk. He wondered if Mads liked his hair too. At the time it was short and he wanted to know if he liked his hair even so. What nonsense.

“Hugh!”

Hugh got up from the table and felt a terrible embarrassment. How should he greet him in such circumstances? Was he supposed to be cool and detached or smile at him?

Mads approached him with caution and looked into his eyes. Hugh was no longer able to think.

With an awkward movement, the two hugged. It was Hugh who quickly broke off before losing control. Smelling his scent again after months was already making him reconsider all the bad things he had thought of him.

“Unfortunately the interview lasted five minutes longer than expected and I got caught in traffic.” Mads promptly apologized.

Hugh avoided his gaze and sat down. The table would be his salvation that night. It was the only barrier between him and Mads.

“It's not a problem, I don’t have anywhere else to go. Am I right?" Hugh responded by trying to use a neutral, cold tone.

“Yes, of course. Are you ok? How was your flight?" Mads asked politely.

The waiter arrived and interrupted their pseudo conversation.

“What can I get you to drink?”

Mads looked at the man with a warm smile.

“I’ll have a beer.”

“Same for me.” Hugh said short.

“Okay, I’ll let you look at the menu for a few minutes then.” The waiter said.

Mads looked at Hugh.

“There’s no need, we are ready.” Mads said.

“I don’t know what to order yet.” Hugh looked at him with a defiant tone.

“Let’s see…" Mads quickly opened the menu and gave it a quick look.

“I’ll take this.” Mads pointed his finger at the menu and the waiter leaned in to look. Hugh gave Mads a dirty look. Was he playing with him?

“Very well Sir.” The waiter wrote down the order and then he looked at Hugh. “Sir, do you need more time?" he asked in a kind tone.

“No, I’ll take whatever he is having. Thank you.”

“Perfect. Thank you very much.” The waiter answered.

As soon as the man left the table, Hugh looked coldly at Mads. He would eat him alive, and not in the way Mads hoped.

“The flight was quiet. Now, did anyone see you come here?" Hugh asked straight out.

Mads looked at him with a lovely smile.

“Hugh, don’t worry. No one saw me. There’s nothing to worry about.”

“Really? Because I’m not going to get caught looking like an idiot while I'm out with you. I practically ran away from work to come here.” Hugh responded by looking at him seriously.

“Hugh, we are safe. If I wanted to get us in trouble, I would have let you come straight to my hotel and taken you to one of the most famous restaurants in Los Angeles. We certainly didn’t come here for the menu.” Mads raised his eyebrow.

“Are you being sarcastic?” Hugh asked, looking at him as he wanted to challenge him. Were they already flirting?

“Maybe...” Mads smiled and Hugh looked at him completely lost. At that moment he wanted to tell him how much he missed him, how much he thought about him and how much he wanted to kiss him. Mads was there in front of him, and he could tell him all those awful romantic things.

“So, how is Ben?" he asked instead.

Mads made an amused grimace. Hugh felt a deep sense of bitterness in that expression.

“So you come straight to the point?”

Hugh crossed his arms on the table and leaned towards his friend in a seductive way. Mads remained petrified.

“Of course, Mads. I certainly didn’t come here for the menu.”

Mads grinned and looked down, biting his lip.


	5. Chapter 5

“Ok, then. What’s the problem with Ben?” Mads asked. 

Hugh didn’t say a word because the waiter came back with their beer. Mads gave it a sip and Hugh did the same. There was so much tension in the air. 

“I saw the video, Mads. The one where Ben talked about a couch.” Hugh looked straight at Mads with a serious look.

“I see.” Mads looked at the glass. “Is this why you called me that night?”

“Yes. I want to know what happened. I want the fucking truth about you and Ben. I know I have no rights to ask you that because we don’t have any kind of arrangement and I’m not your wife, but I’d really appreciate it.” Hugh said. 

In that moment he was feeling so bad. He didn’t know how the conversation was going to end, but he had a bad feeling. He hoped Mads wouldn't lie. He didn’t take a flight to come to LA just to hear a lie.

“I understand. You want the truth, so the truth it is.” Mads waited before talking again, as if he was choosing his words carefully. “I pretended I didn’t remember but it’s not true. I remember what happened on that couch but I didn’t want him to say it.” Mads sighed and looked briefly at Hugh.

Hugh squeezed the napkin to release the tension.

“First, we were pretty drunk. We were on this couch and…..we were quite close to each other. I don’t know how it happened but Ben kissed me and I kissed him back. The kiss lasted longer than I thought and it became more passionate. Ben’s hand was on my crotch…he was…you know….”

Mads looked away. He laid his hand on his chin visibly uncomfortable. 

Hugh looked at him without saying a word. 

The waiter arrived with the food and Mads thanked him. Hugh didn’t feel hungry at all. In his mind, he was picturing Mads and Ben on that couch making out. He couldn’t get that image out of his head. It hurt. 

“Hugh please say something.” Mads begged, trying to raise his fork. It seemed the hardest thing to do in that moment. Hugh noticed that his hands were trembling. 

“I wanted the truth so I guess now I have it. Although I didn’t expect it to hurt so much.” Hugh admitted openly. He took his fork in anger and tried to taste the dish. He was sure he’d throw it up. Too bad, because the food was good after all.

“It happened all of a sudden. Before, we were just talking and laughing. The point is, it didn’t really matter to me.” Mads said.

“No? So are you saying you don’t like him? In the interview it looked like you were quite attracted to him. You touched and looked at each other a lot, as a happy couple would. Are you saying that your lips magically wound up on his?”

“I’m not saying this. It’s true, I like him. I like him very much. But it’s not him I’m in love with.”

Hugh dropped his fork on the plate loudly. He couldn’t believe what Mads had just said. Was it a confession? Was he telling him that he loved him? 

“Wh-what?” He asked with a low tone. He tried to swallow.

Mads looked at him with guilt. 

“I was going to tell you. I didn’t know exactly when. I would have imagined it differently though. Maybe in someplace more romantic, you know? But I guess I had to tell you now or never.”

Hugh was speechless. He expected something, he wasn't sure what, but not this. He couldn’t believe it. 

“Are you saying that… are…are you in love with me?”

Mads smiled.

“I’m in love with you. I fell in love with you the first time I saw you.” 

Hugh looked at him deeply. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because I was scared. Because I was already married. Because I didn’t know if you had feelings for me. You may not have noticed, but it’s pretty hard not to fall in love with you, Hugh.”

Hugh laughed. He was out of breath.

“Just for the record, if you had told me, I would have said I loved you back.” Hugh looked at Mads with a seductive look.

“Good to know.” Mads smiled and touched Hugh’s hand on the table. “And if I told you now?”

Hugh caressed his hand with discretion.

“I would say the same thing.” He confessed. They looked into each other’s eyes without saying anything.

“I think what we have is very special. I’m not ready to let you go, but I will if you ask me. I understand that I hurt you with what happened with Ben and I apologize. I’m not very good at this but I swear to you that I don’t feel for him what I feel for you. If you wish, we could be just colleagues and friends from now on.” Mads said.

“I don’t think I can just see you as my colleague. I don’t think I can’t be jealous of you. Because I’m in love with you too.”

Mads looked at him.

“Don’t look at me like this.” Hugh gently reproached him.

“Sorry, I’d kiss you right now if I could.” Mads admitted. 

Hugh had two choices: he could break up with Mads or not. There were other things he wanted to know about him and Ben. But he could get more answers later. 

“You know what? Let’s get out of this fucking restaurant.” Hugh said getting up from his chair. Mads looked confused.

“Right now? We barely touched the food.” 

Hugh took his hand and forced him to rise.

“Yeah, but I’m hungry for something else.” Hugh made a malicious smile. Mads smiled. He knew what he meant. 

“Don’t worry, we can talk about all of this later. Right now I want you. Do you want me too?” Hugh added with a smile. 

Mads looked at him. His gaze said a million things. His eyes shone with a light of their own. 

“I want you too, always.”


End file.
